Friday, I told myself, Friday is the day I will dedicate to this blog. That was three weeks ago.
Then yesterday – yes, Friday – I was too engrossed in finishing the project you see above, and I did not write a word.
But while I was working, I kept on thinking about the baby. The new project in my hands, the new baby in my head.
Earlier this week I had the joy to hold in my arms a little newborn: I always forget how little they are when they come out of the womb.
Not even a week old, baby E slept in my arms for nearly three hours, and I felt it again.
Disclaimer: what follows, is not the Truth. I have no idea what the Truth is. I chose to believe certain things because, as a human being, I am comforted by the illusion of having a few answers.
When I hold a newborn, I always have this feeling that I am with someone that knows it all. I think baby E still remembers where she is coming from (past lives and all) and knows why she is here this time around. Most of all she knows who she is, her essence.
We are fooled by the fact that she totally depends on others for everything, and we do not see how her soul is so…aware. Have you ever noticed how wise a newborn seems?
Where does all that wisdom go?
We grow. We start forgetting who we are, and start believing what we are told we are by family, friends, society: female, male, clever, skillful, clumsy, bossy, mother, artist, husband, fat…..and so on with all the “labels” that define our identity. And the wisdom is lost, amid all the “I am…” and the roles we play.
Sometime, during a lifetime, some of us start un-learning what we learned and gain a bit of wisdom back. But do you know what I think?
The work I do at the hospital – Pre-Covid19 I was regularly giving Reiki sessions to oncology patients at a local hospital – allows me to be witness to illness and death.
So what I came to think is that, right before death, we remember again. Like at the beginning of our life, at the end of it too, we get to know and understand it all.
Makes me think I will want to be there when I die, like really there, as present and as alert as possible. You know, in case all of this is the Truth 😊